Joshua Allen Online

Dear Judge: This Time I’ll do it right!  

The Business of Child Abuse

By Joshua Allen

Dear Judge,

Hey I know it wasn’t your fault for taking my kids away.  That damn social worker lady what’s her name – she’s the real criminal.  What’s a little tweaking anyways?  I’m a good parent, the kids love me don’t they?  They always say it when that dumb social worker asks.

And that first judge!  Who the hell is that SOB to tell me that I need to be drug tested?  The hell with dirty tests!  It’s the damn system that destroyed my family.  That judge is paid a big hunk of change to rip families apart.  They all make money from us, from all of us. But I know you’re different from that other guy.

And that mother-of-all-fights we had last night.  G-d was that a bitch of a fight or what!  We were both messed up good I know…sorry?   But hey, at least I gave as good as I got!

But why is the county so uptight?  The kids weren’t touched, so what’s the big deal? Damn neighbors snitchin to cops, I bet I know which one too.  Always so nosy, asking about the kids.  Who the hell are they to offer to take care of them?    Why can’t people just mind their own business!  Lots of people do worse things to kids than I did, and they still have them.  It’s not fair.

Why don’t the cops go after the real criminals.  You know the freaks that do those unspeakable things to their kids?  We never did nothin like that.  It was all lies.  Why did they make my kids lie?

What did those county nutheads say?  The allegation was substantiated?  Unsubstantiated?  What the heck is that?

Their father should be getting out of the joint soon anyways.  And yeah,  he’s got to stay away but they can’t check that all the time, can they? Anyways, just like you said, he won’t be around.

I love my kids, why can’t you see that?  Okay I shouldn’t have missed those visits.  Especially the youngest ones birthday.  Anyways she’s just 3 so she doesn’t really care.  But yeah,  I’ll  make it up to her I  always do.  Just ask her.

But maybe you can tell my why is my oldest so angry all the time?  He shouldn’t be taking stuff from the store.  What are they paying that foster parent for anyways? You should check that out.  

And who the hell is she to say I can’t talk to my kids any time, day or night.  She’s poisoning them against me!  That’s why they’re so angry.  They’d probably be back with me by now if that lady hadn’t been speaking smack to that lazy CSW.  You should check her too.

She never even returns my calls!   Okay, it probably wasn’t too smart to yell at her those times, especially when I need my kids, I admit it, that wasn’t smart.  But can’t they see how much the kids love me?  How they cry when it’s time for me to leave the one hour weekly visit at McDonald’s?

What’s the foster parent so mad about anyways, so I missed a few visits when I were supposed to be there – the kids ate real good didn’t they?  They love McDonald’s.  I took them there almost every day when I still had money before losing that job for tweaking.    

And yeah it was uncool to use before the baby was born.  But I know better now.  Next time I’m pregnant I’ll do it right.  They need their mommy.  Especially the baby.  She’s got all sorts of problems but I’ll take her to the best doctors.  I still got the Medi-Cal card, I never lost it.  Doesn’t that prove something?  

Anyways all that’s behind me.  I’m barely using these days, not for a couple of days anyways.  And I’m taking those parenting classes.  Haven’t missed a single one and I have the papers to prove it.

That other judge said I’d get the kids back soon if I could just string together a few clean tests and my grandmother gets a bigger place.  That’s what mom did when I was a kid.  We all came home real fast after the county took us.  Why’s it so different now?  

Look,  when my babies come home it will be different this time.  We’ll do it right.  No more partying.  No more tweaking.  And we’ll just be a happy family this time. I’ll put them back in school, I’ll be there for them you’ll see…

Or not.

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